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I dislike my Dad despite my love for him

2021.11.27 14:37 JamesGBoswell I dislike my Dad despite my love for him

My Dad is basically a good person. He was a good father who always provided for his family well enough that I was able to have everything I needed and most of the things I wanted growing up. I love him and appreciate him for his sacrifices.
But despite his abilities as a provider, he was severely emotionally abusive to me, my Mom, and anybody and everybody else whenever things didn't go the way he wanted or thought they should. I mean *LOUD*, *ANGRY* yelling, cursing in public or in private, threatening gestures like he was ready to hit someone, and just generally being impossible to please and uncaring towards people's efforts to please him.
I'm in my late 30's now and regularly care for him since he has some health problems. I like spending time with him because he's my Dad and I love him, but my enjoyment lasts only to a point because even as an elderly person with a debilitating disease, he still acts like a total jerk. He's often rude to me and to strangers, especially food servers for some reason. He still barks orders at me and others when simply asking would suffice.
He's very antisocial and always avoids social situations as much as possible. But then when people don't invite him to parties because they know he's not interested in going, he feels hurt and gets mad like has been rejected unfairly anyway. He's an "injustice collector" in the sense that he always feels as though somehow someone has wronged him and he needs to get back at them somehow. He ruminates on things that happened in the distant past that he's *still* angry about, and this puts him in a bad mood for me, my Mom, and everybody else. Recently, a new neighbor moved in next to him and built a fence between their properties. This upset him for some reason and he brought up several times about how rude the new neighbor was for building the fence *without asking his permission first.* When I asked him why someone would need to ask him for permission to build a fence on their own land, especially someone he has never met and with whom he doesn't have a relationship, he just paused and said, "Well, it sounds stupid when you put it like that." Yeah, Dad, that's because it *is* stupid. Apparently, he has already gotten into a fight with his neighbor across the street over something stupid as well.
He sometimes confesses to me when he has been a jerk to someone as though I'm going to absolve him like I'm a priest, even though I'm not one and I don't think what he did was ok. Other times he spontaneously shares his negative feelings about life with me like I'm a therapist something, but I'm not that either. He also says things that show he expects me to "coach" him through his life. I have no idea what to say when he says things like that, other than that I'm not his life coach. If I suggest that he should talk to someone like a counselor or therapist about his feelings, he dismisses the idea and seems put off. Apparently, that's *my* job in his mind, or he just doesn't think he really needs one even though he obviously does.
For those rare instances when he's in a good mood and feeling social, all he does it talk *at* you about things only *he* cares about, especially airplanes. He's a former pilot and whenever anything about airplanes comes up he automatically goes into a five minute lecture about airplanes, how they work, the different kinds there are, and all that. I've never been interested in airplanes but I know all about them because of my Dad's constant, unwanted, unsolicited lectures about them. Whenever I try to talk about stuff I'm interested in, he either pretends to listen, listens just superficially, or changes the conversation altogether.
He also pays a lot of attention to other people's children in public despite how uncomfortable this makes everyone. Whenever we go out to a restaurant, for example, if there are children sitting nearby he'll always point them out and make funny faces at them and try to engage with them. If the parents look at him, he just smiles at them like "Hey, I'm not doing anything wrong." Then he'll interrupt our conversations to give us updates about what the kids at the other table are doing, as though anyone cares. Once, my Mom dragged him to a party where some people had brought their children, and all he did was try to engage and play games with them while ignoring all the adults. I was there and I watched in horror as one of the dads took him aside and started grilling him about his interest in the kids. I don't believe he's a monster because there's no evidence and he never tried anything with me or my friends growing up, but the COMPLETE LACK OF CONCERN FOR OTHERS he shows when he acts so interested in kids is really, really, really off-putting. It just goes to show how little he cares for the feelings of others regardless of his intentions.
Whenever he acts like a jerk, he'll come back later on acting extra super nice, throwing out superficial compliments left and right to me and my Mom, other family members or strangers because he doesn't have friends. "Hey, I like your jacket," or "Those are really nice shoes," or stupid ones like "You did a great job driving down the highway" or "Those new tires look great on your car." Um, thanks? He won't bring up his obnoxious and inappropriate behavior. Instead, he'll act like it didn't happen. Meanwhile, he makes all these humble-bragging, virtue-signaling comments and gestures to try and convince everyone that he isn't a total jerk, or to at least hide the fact that he is, indeed, a jerk.
I had significant problems with social anxiety and anger management growing up because of the terrible example he modeled for me. I take responsibility for myself and my choices and I'm way better off now as a middle-aged adult, but I can't help but feel resentful that I was held back so much because of my Dad's personality. This resentment flares up every time I see him now, especially whenever he acts like a jerk, which is often. I resent him because I feel like he knew he had a problem emotionally but he never took care of it and instead let it fester, infecting his child and ruining the quality of life for everyone around him. He should've sought therapy but he didn't out of personal pride, and that's what makes me resent him the most. I'm in therapy now and my father's anger is a constant theme.
I admit, it makes me angry to think about my Dad's temper and how much it has negatively affected my life, which I find to be ironic but not in a funny way. He even criticized me for my temper once, and it took quite a bit of self-control for me not to shout at him that *he's* the reason for my anger problems. I have to keep taking care of him and I will, but I've given up on the idea of having a nice, pleasant relationship with my Dad because even when he's being genuinely nice, it's hard not to see it as disingenuous.
submitted by JamesGBoswell to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]


2021.11.27 14:37 wrinklejortstheimp Time To Do The Thing

Lurker for a long time, and told myself I'd post here eventually, but procrastinated because I didn't want to commit to a lifestyle change. Today is my first day at the gym in 3 years, and I know I won't see any results in I don't change my drinking and eating habits.
In the last two years, I stopped going out and begin casually drinking at home at night, and often binging food during the day, and casually smoking for a year. My muscles have gone weak, my stomach has grown two sizes, and my mental health and energy are awful. I'm done feeling miserable.
Posting here to hold myself accountable and begin the process of being better and love myself a little more. Cancelled my party obligations for the next two weeks, have a set of therapists to interview on Monday, and am just finishing 30 minutes of cardio. Let's do this.
submitted by wrinklejortstheimp to stopdrinkingfitness [link] [comments]


2021.11.27 14:37 Purpledurpl202 What is your favorite 'most hated' video game?

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2021.11.27 14:37 Lakesidelivin Stunned!

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2021.11.27 14:37 JRabone Me when ever I check my crypto wallet

Me when ever I check my crypto wallet submitted by JRabone to reactiongifs [link] [comments]


2021.11.27 14:37 Esiensa Is it worth it to start MF'ing and which build?

hello, im currently sitting on about 60 EX and im bored of the ways i made them so i wanted something new and MF looks fun i do not have a headhunter but i want to farm one is MF worth to start right now?as id probably need to throw a decent amount of money to start it so i would have to cover the cost +profit and what variant? is it dead eye lightning arrow with inspired learnings?or maybe some CF glad MF ive seen around would appreciate if someone with experience will help me with this should i farm t3/6/10 and should i do atleast mid/high investment on the maps?
thanks in advanced
submitted by Esiensa to PathOfExileBuilds [link] [comments]


2021.11.27 14:37 feelings-di3 [19/F] im right wing come debate me

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2021.11.27 14:37 darthfury78 Shakuyaku was a Kuja Pirate and Empress of Amazon Lily

The proof? Her name (芍薬 shakuyaku?) means "peony", a type of flower. All the Kuja warriors are named after a flower. Did Shakuyaku gave up being a Pirate because she came down with the love sickness? It would seen that Shakuyaku was leader of the Kuja pirates before she resigned at the age of 22 years old. Do you agree of disagree?
submitted by darthfury78 to OnePiece [link] [comments]


2021.11.27 14:37 BigBoss738 D-D-D-Do you like my Seraphine jgl? braum instalocked at the end with no jgl in blind and left us with no jgl .... i had to sacrifice but i smashed as jgler, right? 3drags + lvl and farm gap, it was a jgl diff right?

D-D-D-Do you like my Seraphine jgl? braum instalocked at the end with no jgl in blind and left us with no jgl .... i had to sacrifice but i smashed as jgler, right? 3drags + lvl and farm gap, it was a jgl diff right? submitted by BigBoss738 to SeraphineMains [link] [comments]


2021.11.27 14:37 Brooksbandit223 [US][Trading] Multiple titles, Jujustu Kaisen 0-12, Chainsaw man 1-7 and more. LOOKING for One Piece 91,92,95-98, Naruto box sets 1-3

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Looking to trade some books to finish off One Piece 91,92,95-98 mainly and then Naruto box sets 1-3. If the books bellow are not marked for selling then I am not selling them
TRADING

SELLING/TRADING
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2021.11.27 14:37 rosco77733 Bridges 5

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submitted by katelovesmeiu to LeagueCoaching [link] [comments]


2021.11.27 14:37 Danetheheroofworlds What do you think about and how would you improve the characters and char dynamics of Trails of Cold Steel?

Recently, I found out that Trails of Cold Steel's characters are pretty controversial between the fans, with many citing their lack of interaction without Rean as a catalyst as a strong point against them. While I don't mind some of the most controversial plot points in the series (like the curse, though I believe that it could have been handled better for sure), a lot of these discussions had me wondering what could be done to improve the characters (as part of a project) and the chemistry between them. I will give my opinions later, after a discussion starts.
submitted by Danetheheroofworlds to Falcom [link] [comments]


2021.11.27 14:37 Mporouxa NEW RENGAR BUG CHECK IT!

Theres a new rengar bug in s12, in which when you jump from a bush with 0 fero, when you press JUST e mid air (bola), it doesnt give you 2 but 1 stack. You can check it youre selves to red buf bush, jumping to red
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2021.11.27 14:37 icaphoenix Life Insurance

I was watching S7E1 and one of the participants mentioned (after hearing a bear) that his family wouldn't want him dying for the prize money.
Got me thinking.
If you did die on alone, would life insurance pay out to your family?
Hence making a "come home with your shield or on it" scenario possible.
submitted by icaphoenix to Alonetv [link] [comments]


2021.11.27 14:37 FreeAdmission Your delegate in Bridgetown has informed you that Barbados has selected a new form of government.

Your delegate in Bridgetown has informed you that Barbados has selected a new form of government. submitted by FreeAdmission to civ [link] [comments]


2021.11.27 14:37 patricksmith84 Switch case program in java using scanner

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2021.11.27 14:37 ThurwalshMormonstoff If you could pick ONE more N64 board to be added to Superstars, which would you pick?

Keep in mind, I have never played any of the N64 games, but I’d have to go with Chilly Waters
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2021.11.27 14:37 AutoModerator Happy Cakeday, r/Ps3TechHelp! Today you're 9

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